I have had the great honor of becoming a featured artist on the amazing website: Artsy Shark.com http://www.artsyshark.com/
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Stylish Designs with Kids in Mind
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Meeting someone new can be a welcome but nerve-wracking experience. Monsters are no different. Especially Guardian Monsters, who are often high strung creatures to begin with. As the official (human) spokesperson for the “Guardian Monster Guild”, it is my honor (and duty) to provide a personalized note of introduction to each brave human who desires Guardian Monster Protection. Introducing “The Official Introduction”. For your safety as well as a more pleasing first time meeting. 
An example of the Guardian Monster, Pantankerous Prickleback, who is much nicer than he looks… most of the time.
The Guardian Monster, Pantankerous Prickleback
Yes, I suppose it was inevitable. Monsters out of control, again… Despite my discussions — make that warnings — they just couldn’t seem to help themselves.
The morning arrived in blustery gray. Clouds raced by, chasing one another to some unknown destination. Rain spattered our windshield, challenging us to believe the sun would dare reveal herself. Not the promising start we had hoped for while preparing for my one and only art fair this year.
The monsters, trapped beneath their cellophane wrapping, whined and moaned as only monsters can do. Irritating in the extreme. They wished to be released from their printed paper prisons, set free to flee and fly into the stormy sky — to unleash their wild monster selves with abandon.
Alas, I would not, could not let them go. They were needed this particular day to be on their best behavior. To stay within their printed pages, if only for a while. Rain or shine, the show must go on – since today was the rain date of the week before.
Amid the muffled screams and protestations, my husband packed them all into the van. Tent, art, display panels – the usual fair paraphernalia – was sorted and squeezed; manipulated and manhandled into submission. I watched in awe as I whispered continued prayers for good weather.
By the time we arrived at our designated “spot on the street”, the wind had decided to join in the fun. Gentle breezes became chilly blasts. Enticing whiffs of aromatic soaps-for-sale, turned into whirlwinds of mixed scent – some not quite as welcome. While the packaged monsters giggled at our plight, the two of us managed to set up the tent, struggling to beat the clock before the fair’s official start time at 10am.
Guardian Monster brothers: Lorcan and Lunn Blitherish (the initial troublmakers!)
Waves of adults, children and dogs paraded up and down the avenue. Laughter and chatter drifted by. The sun came out, the weather cleared, and I finally began to relax. All was well.
Then, to my ears, all manner of snorts, hoots, whistles and toots caught my attention. “How annoying!” I thought, as I leaned forward to see who might be responsible for all that mindless blather! Slowly, to my growing horror, I realized the sounds were coming from within my own tent!! Friendly faces, strolling past, turned cherry red as nasty names were hollered and teasing taunts were flung into the passing public. Innocent glances in my direction morphed into angry glares. My cheeks burned with shame.
I dove inside my tent, wishing there was a door, and pleaded with the monsters (grinning from ear to ear) to behave themselves for goodness sake!! Nothing worked of course, and panic blossomed within me. Fortunately for all, my brave husband stepped in to calm me down, and after a few moments of deep breathing, an idea struck.
Gathering my wits, I began whispering into each monsters ear. Within several minutes the melodrama had ceased. Monsters apparently, have rather large egos. Once I told them the fair was in their honor, that people had come from miles around just to gaze upon their likenesses… well, all became well… again.
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The A to Z Seasonal Shopping Guide offers all the best handmade items & gifts for babies, toddlers, & children!
Characteristics: Their bush-shaped bodies are covered with leaves or petals in varying shades of red and gold. Their dominant feature is the mouth, filled with large, curved, serrated teeth. Teeth are often tattooed with stripes or spiral patterns of blue.
Personality: A bit on the shy side, Amarisk has a quiet demeanor and only shows his teeth while eating. His sister Amaraska, on the other hand, is much more outgoing and chatty. She is quite proud of her multiple rows of shark-like teeth and flaunts them as often as possible. She may even pretend to yawn as an excuse to flash her mouthful of pearly blue and whites.
Potential Issues: Amarisk tends to gnaw on wood items (like your furniture) when he is feeling anxious (which is often). Amaraska prefers hard plastics to keep her teeth sharp and polished. She may also begin to chatter if she becomes nervous. I suppose that is better than chewing on fingers or toes, but both issues have been known to cause sudden headaches as well as the urgent need to flee in the person who is unfortunate to be near them when this behavior begins. Fainting has been reported as well.
Rules of Etiquette: They usually work together as a team. When they present themselves to you, please welcome them in immediately and allow them to move freely within your home. They are looking for good eating spots and will quickly settle down once located. If you approach Amaraska too quickly, she may begin to jabber. Do not worry, she is just feeling a bit excited. If this happens, do not engage her directly in conversation. Simply nod your head and smile, then back away slowly. She will calm down eventually, but may continue mumbling to herself for a short period of time before stopping. Finally, I strongly suggest that you keep a piece of old wooden chair leg and scraps of discarded plastic (the hard stuff) nearby, unless you don’t mind your good furniture or dishes being gnawed upon.
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PROTECTIVE POWERS: INDOOR POLLUTION MANAGEMENT
Similar to plants, these monsters use their petal/leaf covered bodies like a sponge, absorbing dust and nasty allergens from the surrounding air. Larger particles and icky creatures like dust mites, bed bugs and stink bugs are captured as well and hungrily devoured by these voracious eaters. (Authors note: Ewwwwwwww!)
BENEFICIAL POWERS: BLISS CREATION
As a way of thanking you for all of the good food you and your household provide, they emit through their exhalations, purified, fragrant air. Deep breathing of this revitalized air may generate feelings of good health and increased energy. It may even inspire within you, unselfish thoughts, and create charitable feelings towards family members – siblings in particular.
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Available as: Guardian Monsters: Personalized Name Prints
The Secret Lives of Monsters
Was it a chance encounter while out hunting for mushrooms? Or, was it a planned ambush? We may never know.
Through the monster “grapevine”, I’ve heard whispered rumors about flowered little-girl boots, a basket of mushrooms and… a net!! Now, everyone knows that a net is not required for “picking” mushrooms. Perhaps it was meant for the innocent past time of butterfly “gathering”. (The butterflies might have another word for that).
Alas, this particular monster, known by his friends as Meeshu, has disappeared. The tell-tale tracks of childrens boot prints just add to the mystery.
More to come as the story unfolds…
A lovely Etsy customer in Kuala Lumpur, Wilayah Persekutuan, Malaysia ordered my “Go Deep” poster along with a print of some lively Baby Monsters.
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Go Deep to Find Your Bliss.
Life can often feel chaotic. Unbalanced. Stressful.
Try and see that it is just on the surface. Stop frantically treading water just to stay afloat amidst the craziness. Instead, choose to go deep. Deep down, where the restless tides abate. Deep within, where inner calm resides.
Where bliss can be found.
The Monsters are on the March!
Thank you to all of the lovely folks who have invited a Guardian Monster into your home or adopted a wee Baby Monster into your care. They are, of course, thrilled to have joined your families. So far, monsters made their way to doorsteps in states all across the US: from Trumbull, CT to Venice, FL! From Cambridge, MA to Savannah, GA! They have even ventured as far as Ontario, Canada and New South Wales, Australia!
